Please God End It All!!!

All I have to say about this is: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
Come back from the dark side Best Buy, I beg you.

All Hail the Penguin! (and moving too I guess)

As I said in my last post I have migrated to Ubuntu Linux, and after these few days I have come to a decision. I am officially done with Microsoft. I will only ever run Linux or Mac OS. Windows is just too frigging much of a pain to ever have to deal with willingly again. Here are some screens of my desktop and some apps. Oh and speaking of migration, I have finally completed the move out of my Ramblewood apartment. I know, "Its about damn time!"

Long Hiatus and a Gibbon with Guts

Well it has been quite some time since I have updated my blog. Many of you have cursed me out and hinted (or flat out told me) that I should just get rid of it, but I will do no such thing. I am not one to quit something, especially when I am told to do so. Ef that. So what you may ask would bring me out of my long silence. Well I finally received my CD from Canonical today and decided to throw caution to the wind and give Windows the boot. As I write I am currently running Ubuntu Linux ver. 7.10 aka Gutsy Gibbon. So far I am enjoying it, though of course time will tell the whole story. Networking is much more intuitive, as I had to do no configuration of my wireless shy of providing the authorization code for access. Of course there is the tediousness of setting everything up like e-mail and instant messaging, but that has been relatively painless. I haven't tried anything that requires the terminal yet, but I am sure that it is only a matter of time before that is needed. I will try to keep everyone posted as to my progress with the new system and the pros and cons as I see them. BRB.

Voices

I can comepletely relate to this. My mind is not solely my own.

My Current Existence

This pretty much sums it all up.

Sheer Immortality

Well, once again I have had my hopes dashed by existence. I am still here, and though that is slightly irksome, I must admit that I am happy to still be around to screw with humanity at large. It is hot as Hell in this house (appropriately) and I am sweating my ever loving balls off, but fortunately I did install my AC unit in my room before departing for work, so my room is very pleasant to be in. Now if only my presence was as pleasant to be in I would have all the ladies here. ;-) Well I am hot, sweaty and tired (sadly not from physical exertion of the erotic kind) so I believe I will wrap it up for another time. BRB

Sheer Death

I really feel as though tonight may in fact be the night in which the universe finally puts a stop to my heinous existence. Or at least I hoping that it will be merciful and do so. I am so fucking exhausted. Today was an utter nightmare at work being that I was alone, as is normal on the weekends, however today the entire hospital and indeed the entire West Michigan area decided to go absolutely ape shit. In 8 hours I somehow managed to accomplish an amount of work that would be a difficult task with even the standard 3 man shift. Needless to say, I am the Shit. I also managed to do all of this without losing my temper. That alone is a Herculean task for me so I am doubly proud of myself. So right now I am sitting here reflecting on the day, rewarding myself with the sweet nectar of the gods, ALCOHOL, and preparing myself for the deep slumber that I am hoping will envelop me this evening. If everything works out in my favor, I will not awaken from said slumber and attain blissful oblivion. BRB booze and.................

Secrecy

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!!!!

I am tired of all the damn comments about how I should post. I really don't know why I should post since pretty much everyone who reads this knows what I have been up to, but the requests will continue until such time as I relent and share the comings and goings of my sorry existence. So here we go. I have recently taken up the study of 18th Century Poeticism and I must say that the works of Lord Byron are masterful in their darkness. But enough about my hobby. I have also purchased two brilliant new albums. Megadeth- United Abominations, and Dream Theater- Systematic Chaos. I lack the proper vocabulary to adequately describe my enjoyment of these two masterpieces. Once again these two seminal bands exceed my wildest expectations and render me incapable of suitable prose. I know what you all are thinking. ENOUGH WITH THE INTELLECTUAL BABBLE. I agree. Anyway, I am enjoying these albums very much and I encourage all to acquire them. I have also been trying to locate a copy of the new Megadeth live DVD and have so far been thwarted by local retail merchants. I suppose I will have to get it online unless a miracle happens in the next few days. Other then that I am carrying on my usual pitiful existence and will continue to do so until such time as the universe sees fit to end it. Sunny outlook eh? BRB going to poke a bear in the eye with a stick.

Mechanics = Heebs

I swear to GOD if I didn't love driving so much I would just fucking walk everywhere. Jesus Christ, all I wanted to do was get my fucking brakes on my fucking truck fixed, you know, make it drivable. But not these asshole, they want to do the brakes, an alignment, shocks/struts, etc. All to bring my truck to "100%". All told they wanted to take $1300 from me. I told them no thanks. Then they said that it would be $949 to do the brakes and alignment. I told them again negative, to put it back together and mi padre would come and get it. (Best Dad Ever) Then they tell me the can do my brakes and forget all the other "recommendations" for $479. You know what fuckers, if you had told me that the first time, you would have my damn business, but you screwed the pooch on that one. So mechanics can kiss my ass and if my truck breaks down again, I am just going to start taking the Rapid, it has to be cheaper. BRB

Movies, Movies, Movies

Well I have been on a roll recently with the posts, so before I lose interest again I think I will talk about some movies that I have recently viewed. I bought both of the magic related dramas released last year, The Illusionist and The Prestige. Now I must admit that I was looking forward to The Prestige owing to the fact that I enjoy both Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman and the fact that David Bowie is in it is phenomenal. However, I have yet been able to sit through the entire picture, I don't know if it is just I am not in the mood for that kind of movie or if the movie itself is just not that interesting to me. At some point I will force myself to finish watching it. The Illusionist, on the other hand, I was very impressed with. The story was not the greatest, but the performances by Edward Norton and Paul Giamotti were extraordinary. And of course Jessica Biel was visually stunning and her performance was adequate. Now the other two movies that I have partaken in, I am completely enamored with. After listening to all of the hype surrounding it, and the natural interest that I had, I bought Casino Royale. This is by far the greatest Bond film in the long history of that franchise, also I believe that Daniel Craig has given the best portrayal of the suave British agent. He is both charming, without being over the top like Roger Moore, and ruthless in the vein of what Timothy Dalton was trying to do in The Living Daylights and License To Kill. This makes for a more believable Bond, in my opinion. The only complaint about the movie I have is why the hell did they destroy that beautiful Aston Martin DBS, I want to cry every time I see that scene. Anyways, I come to the film which compels me to post, that would be 300. What words can possibly describe this film, legendary, classic, epic? This movie encompasses all of those words and more that my feeble grasp of this and any language can not possibly render into coherent sentences. Having only seen one movie in the theater this year, I must say that I find it hard to believe that Hollywood can possibly produce another film this year, or in any year soon, that will match this colossal masterpiece. Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast, for tonight we dine in HELL!

Enfuego's Public Apology

In response to comments made on both my my blog and Myspace page, I feel that it is my obligation to offer a public apology to certain individuals.

To both Emily and certainly Megan, I apologize for any emotional discomfort my frivolous posting of possibly damaging images may have or will cause you. It was my intent to poke a little good natured fun at two of my dearest friends. (Also two of my more vocal blog posting critics) I realize that through my actions these images may fall into the hands of those that will not take them for what they are, a celebration of the best things in this life, friends and fun. I will, at the request of either party, remove these images from all media outlets that I have personally delivered them to.

Once again I offer my most humble and sincere apologies to Emily and Megan. I hope that through my witless actions I have not caused either of you permanent emotional or professional harm.

Most Apologetically

Michael A. V S

Well, Well, Well

Once again I have returned to the realm of cyberspace to share tales of my many exploits. What have I been up to recently? Well actually I have been quite busy. Work has, as would be expected, taken up a great deal of my time. I am greatly enjoying my current profession and hope to continue to do so into this new year. Also, I am happy to say, that the greatest show in the world is back for yet another thrill ride, I can't wait to see how it all turns out. ( R.I.P. Curtis Manning ) But enough about 24, there are many posts about what has happened and I will not go into it myself. Also I am preparing to move out of my current abode, so that is occupying much of my time and energy. I am moving to 41st and Division, so Vanberge get ready to have a new neighbor. But the biggest current news I have is that once again the Earth has managed to make its way around that giant gas bag that we call the sun, meaning that against all odds I have survived to see yet one more birthday. It never ceases to amaze me that the universe allows my continued existence, proving once and for all that there really is no God. To go along with said day of spawning ritual I also had the " pleasant " experience of spending 1 and 1/2 hours at the Sec. of State office to get a new plate and tab for my truck, what utter bullshit that was. I think those dumbasses down there can convey more coherent thoughts in Spansh then they can in English, WTF. I didn't think that many Mexicans came out for anything shy of a Menudo reunion. Anyways, Tuesday is my birthday and as I do every Tuesday I will be at the Chicago Drive Pub, getting drunk and singing Kareoke, so anyone who wishes to come out is certainly welcome to do so. I am shooting for a 9 pm start time, so come on down one and all and watch me make a complete jackass of myself. BRB

I Win Again!

Well, the gathering has come and gone and what a spectacle it was. I have to thank everyone who came out and joined the festivities, it was good to see you all. To those that didn't come out, you were missed and you all had better pick it the hell up for next time. Already I am planning on having another shindig, I have no specifics yet, but any and all suggestions are welcome. I will say one thing though, I HATE the BOB and hope that God will do something to that place, I hope he will smite that Hell hole. Until next time, BRB

PARTAY!!!!!!

Wow it has only been 2 days since my last post and here I am again. Don't get excited, I am not going to entrall you all with a scathing diatribe, using words that the devil himself has never conceived. Instead, I am writing to let anyone I may not have already told, that I am going to have a gathering over at my place on Sat.the 16th. This is not going to be some over the top beerfest, where people are heaving into whatever container they believe can hold their stomach contents. No this is going to be a pre-B.O.B. shin-dig. Goedge is going to be in town this coming weekend, so we might as well all hang out at the BOB. :-(
Anyone who wishes to hang out before the actual bar trip is more than welcome to stop over. Festivities will begin at 4 pm. and shall move downtown when Meyer gets his sorry ass to my place. Bring beverages if you so desire, at some point I am sure dinner will be attained. Anyone who needs directions can call me. OK tired of being at work, so BRB and I hope to see all of you at the very least at the BOB

Interspecies Erotica

I tell you what, there is nothing like seeing a chick blow a mule. Unless of course it is a guy blowing a mule, and then fucking it in the ass. To those of you now going what the fuck is Enfuego talking about, clearly you haven't seen Clerks 2. To those who have I say..... Oh!
What does this have to do with anything, the answer is really nothing. But given that my life is a full fucking waster, and once again I am being pestered to post, I decided to treat the world with a review of my current favorite movie. If you are at all a fan of Kevin Smith's movies ( barring Chasing Amy of course) the I highly endorse the purchase of the DVD. I mean how often do you "anal"yze the complex subject of ass to mouth, or contemplate the pros and cons of being with a chick with an oversized clit. These are just a few of the jems that come from the rich mine that is the mind of Smith. So go out and purchase the movie or else you are just a hideous fucking CHUD. Snoochie Boochies!

Holy Strawberry Piss, Batman

I HOPE THAT YOU ARE ALL FUCKING HAPPY!!!!!
I finally came on here to make a constructive post, because people are pissing and moaning, and what the fuck happens? I'll tell you what: my GOD DAMNED keyboard drawer falls and spills my Margarita in my GOD DAMNED lap. I am sure that at this point you all are having quite the chuckle at my misfortune, I know I would be too. ( And once I get drunk I probably will ) But right now I am pissed about the red stains on my work pants ( On the crotch no less ), and the fact that my balls are now sticky. I am so irritated that I am now not going to post about the shit I have been doing these last few weeks, just so I can have the small satisfaction of fucking with you people. BRB, going to find a Mexican whore to lick margarita off of my ass and balls.

Dogshit Akimbo

Sorry to everyone out there who actually comes here to read about my pathetic existance. I meant to update this a while ago but i have been rather preoccupied. Let's see since last time I posted, Vanberge had a bachelor party and got married. These events are chronicled on various other sites, so if you haven't heard the tales you must live under a bigger rock then I do. Two weeks ago I purchased a 1 year membership to Powerhouse Gym and have been pumping iron after work. Pretty much anymore, I get up go to work, go to the gym and then go home to bed. I don't really drink/ go to the bar, much to the complaint of certain individuals. ( SORRY GUYS ) This past weekend, and into this week I have been residing in the throbbing metropolis that is McBain MI. This was partly due to a weekend getaway and partly because my Grandfather " bought the farm". I spent an entire day dressed in a suit that I really only needed to wear for about an hour, but then again how often do I get to dress up nice. The funeral was OK, but I am again reminded of why I do not attend church, dammit if preachers aren't long-winded. Shut the hell up and lets get this sorry affair over. But anyway, he is dead and buried and now I can go on with my life. OK, I am tired and my shoulders hurt from the gym. I need a drink and will be at the Pub Friday after work. BRB

Screw the World

Once again I bow to the wishes of the masses. Let's see what have I done interesting these past few weeks.....
I have spent much of my time at my place of employment, and apparently a certain someone has been broadcasting my "business" to some of the ladies. Loose lips sink ships. I still love my job and look forward to another entertaining week. I had jury duty last week for a grand total of 3 hours and 15 minutes, basically the tax payers of Kent county paid me $17.50 to sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing. Good going there. Over the holiday my father and I got freakishly drunk and I had to leave my truck at the RODEO when we got a ride home. How redneck is that? Other than that it has been pretty quiet in the land of Enfuego, just work sleep, and the occasional drunk. Speaking of which I think I hear tequila calling. So BRB and F OFF! :-)

Got some pics from the tubing trip. Those with weak constitutions might want to look away.




Can anyone say Tommy Boy? ( Mommy Mommy the rhino is getting too close to the car! )



I got an idea where you can stick that finger Timmy



Mark = The Devil



Warcry Brian



Twin Mikey ( with pregnant Meyer in the backround )

So as you can see I do not hide from shame and ridicule, I embrace it and thrive. But that was just a taste of the images from that weekend and I am sure more will follow. I most now BRB for Bed.

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