I Win Again!

Well, the gathering has come and gone and what a spectacle it was. I have to thank everyone who came out and joined the festivities, it was good to see you all. To those that didn't come out, you were missed and you all had better pick it the hell up for next time. Already I am planning on having another shindig, I have no specifics yet, but any and all suggestions are welcome. I will say one thing though, I HATE the BOB and hope that God will do something to that place, I hope he will smite that Hell hole. Until next time, BRB

PARTAY!!!!!!

Wow it has only been 2 days since my last post and here I am again. Don't get excited, I am not going to entrall you all with a scathing diatribe, using words that the devil himself has never conceived. Instead, I am writing to let anyone I may not have already told, that I am going to have a gathering over at my place on Sat.the 16th. This is not going to be some over the top beerfest, where people are heaving into whatever container they believe can hold their stomach contents. No this is going to be a pre-B.O.B. shin-dig. Goedge is going to be in town this coming weekend, so we might as well all hang out at the BOB. :-(
Anyone who wishes to hang out before the actual bar trip is more than welcome to stop over. Festivities will begin at 4 pm. and shall move downtown when Meyer gets his sorry ass to my place. Bring beverages if you so desire, at some point I am sure dinner will be attained. Anyone who needs directions can call me. OK tired of being at work, so BRB and I hope to see all of you at the very least at the BOB

Interspecies Erotica

I tell you what, there is nothing like seeing a chick blow a mule. Unless of course it is a guy blowing a mule, and then fucking it in the ass. To those of you now going what the fuck is Enfuego talking about, clearly you haven't seen Clerks 2. To those who have I say..... Oh!
What does this have to do with anything, the answer is really nothing. But given that my life is a full fucking waster, and once again I am being pestered to post, I decided to treat the world with a review of my current favorite movie. If you are at all a fan of Kevin Smith's movies ( barring Chasing Amy of course) the I highly endorse the purchase of the DVD. I mean how often do you "anal"yze the complex subject of ass to mouth, or contemplate the pros and cons of being with a chick with an oversized clit. These are just a few of the jems that come from the rich mine that is the mind of Smith. So go out and purchase the movie or else you are just a hideous fucking CHUD. Snoochie Boochies!

Holy Strawberry Piss, Batman

I HOPE THAT YOU ARE ALL FUCKING HAPPY!!!!!
I finally came on here to make a constructive post, because people are pissing and moaning, and what the fuck happens? I'll tell you what: my GOD DAMNED keyboard drawer falls and spills my Margarita in my GOD DAMNED lap. I am sure that at this point you all are having quite the chuckle at my misfortune, I know I would be too. ( And once I get drunk I probably will ) But right now I am pissed about the red stains on my work pants ( On the crotch no less ), and the fact that my balls are now sticky. I am so irritated that I am now not going to post about the shit I have been doing these last few weeks, just so I can have the small satisfaction of fucking with you people. BRB, going to find a Mexican whore to lick margarita off of my ass and balls.

Dogshit Akimbo

Sorry to everyone out there who actually comes here to read about my pathetic existance. I meant to update this a while ago but i have been rather preoccupied. Let's see since last time I posted, Vanberge had a bachelor party and got married. These events are chronicled on various other sites, so if you haven't heard the tales you must live under a bigger rock then I do. Two weeks ago I purchased a 1 year membership to Powerhouse Gym and have been pumping iron after work. Pretty much anymore, I get up go to work, go to the gym and then go home to bed. I don't really drink/ go to the bar, much to the complaint of certain individuals. ( SORRY GUYS ) This past weekend, and into this week I have been residing in the throbbing metropolis that is McBain MI. This was partly due to a weekend getaway and partly because my Grandfather " bought the farm". I spent an entire day dressed in a suit that I really only needed to wear for about an hour, but then again how often do I get to dress up nice. The funeral was OK, but I am again reminded of why I do not attend church, dammit if preachers aren't long-winded. Shut the hell up and lets get this sorry affair over. But anyway, he is dead and buried and now I can go on with my life. OK, I am tired and my shoulders hurt from the gym. I need a drink and will be at the Pub Friday after work. BRB

Screw the World

Once again I bow to the wishes of the masses. Let's see what have I done interesting these past few weeks.....
I have spent much of my time at my place of employment, and apparently a certain someone has been broadcasting my "business" to some of the ladies. Loose lips sink ships. I still love my job and look forward to another entertaining week. I had jury duty last week for a grand total of 3 hours and 15 minutes, basically the tax payers of Kent county paid me $17.50 to sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing. Good going there. Over the holiday my father and I got freakishly drunk and I had to leave my truck at the RODEO when we got a ride home. How redneck is that? Other than that it has been pretty quiet in the land of Enfuego, just work sleep, and the occasional drunk. Speaking of which I think I hear tequila calling. So BRB and F OFF! :-)

Got some pics from the tubing trip. Those with weak constitutions might want to look away.




Can anyone say Tommy Boy? ( Mommy Mommy the rhino is getting too close to the car! )



I got an idea where you can stick that finger Timmy



Mark = The Devil



Warcry Brian



Twin Mikey ( with pregnant Meyer in the backround )

So as you can see I do not hide from shame and ridicule, I embrace it and thrive. But that was just a taste of the images from that weekend and I am sure more will follow. I most now BRB for Bed.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Hello Again.

Well well well.... Look who is finally back. It has been a while since my last (worthwhile) post and I suppose it is time once again to enthrall the world with tales of my deeds (and misdeeds). As many of you know, I recently was invited to Hart, MI where I was a guest of the progenitors of Clan Van. While there I took part in the upgrading of Vanberge's car and was rewarded for my feeble attempts at assistance with generous praise and a wonderous feast from MickeyVB.

Last weekend marked the infamous tubing trip, and at long last I was able to attain said trip. What can I say about what happened there? Well let me put it into perspective for you, I was so drunk the first night that I was sitting around the campfire wearing nothing but my socks, shoes and underwear (at one point I think the underwear was questionable) Mind you all that we have done on the first night is arrive, set up camp, eat and drink. So needless to say I felt great the next day, when the tubing was actually to take place. Besides a fantastic hangover, I was awakened (VERY early I might add) by the sounds of flip flops going back and forth to the bathroom. BTW Fuck the Newaygo Speedway and their idiotic way of providing air.(I am glad I defiled their bathroom, assholes) What to say about the actual float down the river, it was fun and I got a "Fantastic" sunburn, other than that it was pretty tame. (No BOOBIES :-( ) The next day, as we were packing up to leave, a monsoon decided to roll in. Luckily for us we made it out before the storm hit, but we were treated to quite the show as we sat at Denny's for breakfast. Thus the trip was brought to a close for another year.

Tonight I have just returned from the (apparently) thriving metropolis that is Detroit after witnessing the Tigers defeat the Indians. I haven't been to game in years and they are doing good, so I had to make the trek. I must say that I have not had as much fun watching baseball in years and I may have to start tuning in more often. So with my new Tigers shirt and hat I sit here reliving the deeds of the past few weeks and all I have to say is: GO TIGERS!!!

Until next time... BRB

Lushes and Boozers and Drunks O' My

Well let me see, I am currently partaking of party over at Michael Conant's house, and it seems as though I am the only sober person here. Normally this would be irritating, but tonight I am having a blast chatting and watching all of the drunks. Meyer, has completed an entire fifth of UV green and has now started on the beer that he brought. Once again I am stunned by the sheer volume of alcohol that he is able to comsume and not just tip over dead. The rest of the partiers are not quite as intoxicated as Mr. Meyer, and when are they ever, but they are definitely feeling good. There is Beer Pong and dirty thoughts and comments all around. Sadly I will have to work tomorrow, but I think that the bar will be calling after I get out. Well until the next time, BRB.

Hot Shit I'm Back!

Well, it has been a while but I suppose I can grace the internet with new info. Let's see, in the past few weeks I have spent copious amounts of time in a state of sheer intoxication, it has been wonderful. I attained 24 oz. of the " Jack Bauer" and sadly managed to survive the encounter, though I was viciously tortured at his hands. I spent an entire weekend in the U.P. fishing with my Dad, that was fun,but I really never want to go back to Drummond Island. I spent an evening down in Fennville with Skinny and a good portion of the Skinner clan, though I did not take my fat ass swimming. The zip line they had set up at the " swimming hole " did look like fun. I have spent most of my time though enjoying the perks of my job, specifically the sheer amount of lovely ladies that work for that fine institution. Apparently Mike Conant's new lady friend works there as well so I will have to make it my new job giving her plenty of shit, sorry but that is my calling in life. Other than that it has been pretty tame in the world of Enfuego, no new ladies in my life as of yet, but anything is possible. To those who visit regularly I will try to post more often, my internet has been on the fritz lately, so sorry. Nothing else going so I will BRB till later.

Would You Like A Dance?

Well this week has been quite interesting. I got to go to the bar twice, the first being on Tuesday night and then again on Wednesday. All I have to say about Tuesday is WOW. Apparently I felt the need to get violetly drunk, and if that wasn't enough, I managed to get up and sing " Rough and Ready " for the entire establishment. Sweet Jesus Christ I suck, but I had a good time. Afterwards Meyer and I went to Denny's where I sobered up and ate a feast. So needless to say I was in no mood to drink on Wednesday, but when it is you buddies birthday you go with the flow. To Tini Bikinis I went after a long day of work and watched Jefe manage to all but take home one of the dancers, yet again. Good going Jefe.( sniff... I'm so proud) I did not get drunk, but I did get an amazing lap dance. The girl sucked my ear, WOW! SCHWING! So all in all it was a very good couple of nights. Well that is about it for this post so BRB.

WPE!!!

Well, it is official. I should be banned from all modes of communication while I am drunk. All I do is make a complete ass of myself. Funny though it may be to some, I can not help but feel like a utter douche. Hopefully, in the future I will be able to hold my alcohol, or at the very least, refrain from using either the internet or the phone. Bad shit happens when I do that. I am clearly a complete mess.

Save Me Jebus!

Well I believe that tonight I will, in fact, be sealing my fate for eternity. Those of you who know me, know that at best I am disdainful of all religions, but for the sake of others, I try not to shit all over their faith. However, recently, I have grown curious as to the beliefs of an aquitance on mine, so I looked up the structure of said beliefs. I was pretty much awed by the lack of thought and sheer idiocy of these peoples beliefs and try as I might to let it go, I can not. These people are called Jehovah's Witnesses ( JW's ) and I believe I must rant about their ideas or my skull will implode. Sorry to any JW's or anyone "involved" with JW's who may read this. Anyway, here goes.

1.) Bible is God's Word and Truth: Perhaps God did come to these writers and inspire them, but did he also come to those who chose the books and inspire them to disregard the " inspired" texts that were omitted.
2.) Bible is more reliable than traditon: How? Because it is printed and bound together it is more reliable? Once again how reliable can it be if certain texts have be left out, you don't get the full picture then.
3.) God's name is Jehovah: Really, I thought it was Jerry. Seriously though I have no arguement here as it is the name of the Jewish God. Of course in Judaism it is sacred and taboo to speak his name aloud.
4.) Christ is God's son and is inferior to him, and Christ was the first of God's creations: Well, maybe I was tripping out in all of those religion classes I took, but I thought the Bible said that God was the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Also I was under the impression that Genesis starts out with God saying " Let there be light". Now I can see that it could be inferred that Christ is the light of the world, but I think that might be reaching a bit far.
5.) We are now in the " time of the end": I must say that according to history, we have always been living in the end, yet we are still here. Oops.
6.) The world will never be destroyed or depopulated: Um... Then were does this end come in at?
7.) The human soul ceases to exist at death/ Hope for dead is resurection: How do you resurrect with out a soul, seems pretty shitty to me. How could I timeshare mine then?
8.) A clergy class and special titles are improper: I'm not completely sure, but I believe that I have heard of Church Elders and that they preach, isn't that both a special title and clergy class, maybe I'm wrong.
9.) Only a little flock of 144,000 go to heaven and rule with Christ: Wow, and to think that these people believe that in all of the billions of people that have ever lived and will ever live, they might be one of them. Thanks I'll take my chances with the Mega Millions, I like my odds better.

Now maybe these people have some very valid agruements for what they believe, one day I would like to hear them. But it seems to me like these beliefs were poorly thought out, and certainly not worthy of basing a religion, let alone investing one's faith in. Well, I think I have doomed myself totally now, so I think I will go out and have some fun being evil. Anyone up for drowning puppies and punching babies? Too tame, OK, let's go join the Republican party.LOL :-) BRB in Hell

S.O.S. (Same Old Shit!)

These last few days have passed like most do, meaning that I have done precisely dick. I went to Detroit this weekend as it was my Mom's birthday, had a fantastic margarita at Chili's, and enjoyed cable television.Since coming home I have gone to work, downloaded shit, played video games, ate food that is no good for me, played Oblivion and slept. Basically, I live a life of utter sameness, and yet it is also truely great. I will however try to pick it up and do some things that are worthy of relating to the rest of the world, right now it is pretty slow. Got to go, McDonald's is calling.

Hurray for the MacNet

I am very excited, this is the first post to my site that will be created on a Mac. ( F Windows) This morning I awoke at the unGODly hour of 8 am to allow the very nice guy from JAS networks into my abode so that he could " hook me up". Then of course I had to test out the speed of my connection in the traditional way: downloading porn. I am very impressed with the quality of the connection( and the porn) and believe that I will be spending crazy amounts of time online, so there should be an increased frequency in my posts. So those of you who give me crap about the timeliness of my blogging can in fact blow me. ( Goedge has just fainted at that suggestion) BRB BOOBS

Holy Dick I am Drunk!

Currently I am drunk enough to sing " I am Cumming in your Sister"!!!! To the music of Big and Rich. I currently wish to do that to 2 of my friends sisters. I am the Worst Person Ever, I know, however, I am truthful. Sex is clearly the only thing on my mind tonight, alcohol has a habit of doing that. I am currently drunk enough to share that it has been, in fact, 3 years since I have had any intimate contact with a female. Do not pity me, as it is clearly my fault. I will pick it up from my current slump at some point. I really don't have any idea why I am posting this other than it will be interesting, and I am drunk. Clearly I am a NOOB.

I Hate the World!

Due to the recent shit that I have received about the frequency of my posts, I have decided to bend to the will of the masses and relate my experiences and perhaps a few of my thoughts. I have been performing my duties at the hospital in an admirable fashion( Hence I am known by my co-worker as Captain Save-A-Nurse), I have seen old friends( LOL at Fat Kramer), I have licked Goedge's face( Tastes like Chicken) and played crazy amounts of Oblivion. Also, Thanks to the hospitality of Johnson and Vanberge, I had a fantastic Easter dinner in a family atmosphere, thereby meeting the legendary MickeyVB. It was a huge honor to finally, after all of these years, meet the man that gave rise to the " Brothers McManus". Well, now that I have related my experiences, I will now share some thoughts. First, Wes you are clearly the WORST PERSON EVER because you passed up Easter dinner to do Fucking HOMEWORK!!!! Secondly, I believe that Emily is right in that Goedge has expressed her true feelings in her desire to experience the savory flavor of my testes. Good going Em! I am currently under the influence of several Coor's Lights and have attained Flo's birthday, it is a good day for me. Other than that I have nothing else to relate. BRB

Fun Times

Well I have had quite the day. I played Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion all night, got to bed at 11 this morning. Woke up at 4, played more Oblivion, then went to the Rampage Game. The Rampage got completely thrashed, no big surprise, I have yet to see them win a game. However I really went to hang out with friends and( mainly) to watch the Rage dance team. Currently I am sitting around waiting for the boozing to begin, I am going to get drunk again tonight and then play Oblivion. Now if I can manage to find a woman my life will be the complete shit!

First Drunk Post

Today has in fact been the best day that I have had in quite a while. While, I did not go and see Meyer die in a stupid contest of egos, I did in fact drink a great deal of beer. Today has been the source of a lot of fun and probably won't be repeated for a very long time. BTW as of the time of this post I have consumed 10 Coor's Lights. I am very happy about that, especially that Jefe is going to take me to Taco Bell so that I can indulge my obsession. BRB drinking.

Day Off Madness

Sweet Buddha I love days off!
Let's see, after going to the bar and then getting Taco Bell of doom( Grilled Chicken Ceasar Stuffed Burritos are the Fucking Shit) I stayed up with Meyer and Jefe watching the last 2 episodes of 24 that I have missed due to the new job. I rolled into bed about 5 am and got up today at 1pm. To add to that sweetness, today is payday and my first Spectrum check is the shit and it isn't even a full check. And to cap it all off, apparently Meyer has foolishly entered a drinking contest with someone described as a machine so I may have to see how that turns out, I think Meyer is going to literally die so it will probably be funny as hell. I think that this will turn out to be the best day that I have had for a while so I had better enjoy it to the fullest. BRB

LMAO

I thought this was very funny and very appropriate.

You Are Scary

You even scare scary people sometimes!

How Scary Are You?

Whipped Horribly

As I write this I have just completed my longest shift at the hospital to date. While it might not seem like a lot, a half hour can sometimes last a lifetime. Not that there is a lot to my job, the endless walking does tend to take a toll on you.( Is it Thursday Yet?) Work is going pretty damn good and I am starting to get the hang of some of the more technical aspects. I am not really looking forward to working this weekend, but it should be interesting to have Friday and Monday off.( Yay 24!) In closing I must say that GOD DAMN are there some beautiful women at that hospital and that I look forward to getting to know a few/all of them:)
Thanks to Vanlandw for posting my badge.

Greetings Greetings!

After much deliberation I have finally gotten around to creating my own Blog. This has been on my list of things to do for a while now. So without further adieu, I welcome one and all into the most terrifying place in existence..... The mind of ENFUEGO!