Monday, April 28, 2008

The Bloated States of Obesity

Get me Richard Simmons on the line, there is an emergency that requires short shorts, sequins, a thinning afro, and whole shitload of crying. I am talking about the crazy weight problem in the U.S.. Now I know that I am not exactly the trimmest individual around, but at least I am capable of seeing to my own needs. Including wiping my own ass without needing accessories.


Apparently there is a segment of our population that requires a device to hold the TP so that they can finish their business. It seems insane to me that there should be a need for this product, called the "Bottom Buddy", and more so that some twisted mind thought it up.(Yes, I am slightly jealous I didn't think of it. I could use the cash) Now don't get me wrong, I do feel bad for those that have a genuine health issue that precludes them from being able to exercise, or ones that put the weight on despite diet and exercise.(Or perhaps they just have T-Rex arms) But I have no sympathy for those that just sit around eating chips while their asses absorb the couch. If you are so big that you need a device to help you wipe yourself, and have no health issues that prevent it, you should put down the remote and the Twinkies and go for a walk. It will do you some good to burn off some calories and get some sun on that pasty shit you call skin, Powder. BRB Jumping directly into the heart of Hades.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

enfeugo, you have sumed up everything wrong with america in two paragraphs and a photograph

Anonymous said...

agreed fully with vanlandw.