Get me Richard Simmons on the line, there is an emergency that requires short shorts, sequins, a thinning afro, and whole shitload of crying. I am talking about the crazy weight problem in the U.S.. Now I know that I am not exactly the trimmest individual around, but at least I am capable of seeing to my own needs. Including wiping my own ass without needing accessories.
Apparently there is a segment of our population that requires a device to hold the TP so that they can finish their business. It seems insane to me that there should be a need for this product, called the "Bottom Buddy", and more so that some twisted mind thought it up.(Yes, I am slightly jealous I didn't think of it. I could use the cash) Now don't get me wrong, I do feel bad for those that have a genuine health issue that precludes them from being able to exercise, or ones that put the weight on despite diet and exercise.(Or perhaps they just have T-Rex arms) But I have no sympathy for those that just sit around eating chips while their asses absorb the couch. If you are so big that you need a device to help you wipe yourself, and have no health issues that prevent it, you should put down the remote and the Twinkies and go for a walk. It will do you some good to burn off some calories and get some sun on that pasty shit you call skin, Powder. BRB Jumping directly into the heart of Hades.
Monday, April 28, 2008
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