Holy Strawberry Piss, Batman

I HOPE THAT YOU ARE ALL FUCKING HAPPY!!!!!
I finally came on here to make a constructive post, because people are pissing and moaning, and what the fuck happens? I'll tell you what: my GOD DAMNED keyboard drawer falls and spills my Margarita in my GOD DAMNED lap. I am sure that at this point you all are having quite the chuckle at my misfortune, I know I would be too. ( And once I get drunk I probably will ) But right now I am pissed about the red stains on my work pants ( On the crotch no less ), and the fact that my balls are now sticky. I am so irritated that I am now not going to post about the shit I have been doing these last few weeks, just so I can have the small satisfaction of fucking with you people. BRB, going to find a Mexican whore to lick margarita off of my ass and balls.